Highfiber 0.0

End of Summer
Tristan Jourdan C. dela Cruz

It was a typical summer day in the beach. Catherine walks aimlessly under the scorching sun. Unlike most people, she didn't mind the heat. Instead, she was even enjoying herself.

"For someone who's about to die, a little sunburn won't hurt," she whispered.

Catherine is a successful banking executive. In a young age, she had already achieved what most people only dream on pursuing. And yet, her success is bound to be short-lived.

She's diagnosed with Stage Four Breast Cancer. And she has only less than a year to live.

She could have been treated by the best doctors with the best medicine her money could buy. But she chose to go to the beach instead. Her grandmother, most of her aunts and even her own mother had already succumbed to the dreaded disease. And she knows she's next and there was nothing she or her money can do about it.

For a person as successful as she is, she has no plans of letting anyone, even her family pity her. Even facing death, she remained steadfast. That's why she chose to die in a place far from everyone she knew.

Somewhere in that same beach, Matt wakes up from a deep, drunken slumber. Unlike most people, he was unaware of where he was, and he remained lying on the sand while being charred by the sun.

"For someone who's tired of living, a little sunburn won't hurt," he smiled.

Matt is a freelance acoustic performer. In a young age, he had given up everything what most people tried to achieve. And yet, he lives a happy, carefree life.

He has not finished any degree in college. And he has no dreams at all.

He could have been successful, just like his parents and siblings. Matt came from a family of doctors. They even own one of the most respectable hospital in the metropolis. And yet he chose to play his music in small bars in the beach instead. He had accepted that he is the weakest among his family, for he struggled so bad in his pre-med course while his parents and siblings dominated in their respective specializations in medicine.

For a person as pessimistic as he is, he has no plans of letting anyone, even his family, force him on what he must do. Facing his own life, he remained apathetic. That's why he chose to live in a place far from everyone he knew.

Two different lives. One summer to remember forever.

While walking at the beach, Catherine didn't notice someone lying on the sand. She tripped herself and stumbled upon him.

"Oopss!"

"What the..."

"I'm sorry mister," Catherine apologized.

"You drunk or something, Miss," the stranger asked.

As they tried to untangle themselves, their eyes met. Somehow, the sun illuminated their sight. Time seem to stop as the two strangers looked at each other.

"Are we gonna stare at each other for the rest of the afternoon," and the stranger returned a smile.

"I'm really sorry I tripped on you," Catherine answered.

As Catherine turned her back and started to walk away, the stranger reached for her arm.

"If it's not too bothersome, I'm Matt."

"Catherine."

"You in a hurry?"

Matt's simple question sounded too complicated to Catherine. She then asked herself. Is she in a hurry for what? To take her lunch? To bid goodbye to her loveones? To die alone?

"I'm sorry. Pardon?"

"If you're not in a rush, I haven't eaten anything since last night. Won't you mind having lunch with me?"

With his irresistible smile, all she could do was yield to his offer.

Matt brought Catherine to a small cozy restaurant by the beach. Their lunch was nothing extraordinary. But what made everything extraordinary was that they enjoyed every moment with each other. A casual one-hour lunch had transformed into a long meaningful bonding. All afternoon they exchanged stories and shared laughter. They were two strangers that met for the very first time and yet they seem like two friends meeting again after a long time. For Catherine, Matt was someone whose worry-free life seems to radiate such happiness that she haven't felt for a very long time. As for Matt, Catherine was someone whose life shows such strength and courage that he hasn't felt all his life.

"So what brought you here," Matt asked.

"Vacation," Catherine answered.

"How's everything so far?"

"Except stumbling into you and making a huge embarrassment out of myself, everything's great."

And they shared a sincere laughter.

"Thanks for the lunch. I really enjoyed it," Catherine said.

"You busy later," Matt asked.

"It was a tiring day. I'm just planning to doze off early."

"Oh c'mon. No one here sleeps early. Life in the beach starts at sunset."

"I'm really tired..."

"I have a gig later at a bar not far from here. And I want you to be there."

Catherine wonders at Matt. She can't completely understand how could someone, who barely knew her would show such appreciation. She felt his sincerity in every word he said and yet her fear of her incoming death has made her heart blind. Anxiety grew inside her. And she let paranoia get the best of her.

"I'm really tired. Maybe some other time. Thanks for the offer anyway."

With a disappointed look upon his face, Matt just answered with a hard-fixed smile.

"If you change your mind, you know where to find me."

Inside her room, Catherine cannot put herself to sleep. A few hours had already passed as she stares blankly at her window. The sun had already set. Darkness swiftly covered everything. Small bars flickered their lights by the seashore. The stars had started their dance in the ebony sky. She knows her body's really tired. Cancer had already taken away most of her stamina. And yet her mind is still wondering about her acquaintance with Matt.

And she remembers Matt's invitation.

Somewhere at a bar nearby, Matt had just finish one set of his gig. It's almost midnight. Amidst the lively chats and shouts of his audience, he still hears the sound of the evening: the sound of bugs chirping and the waves splashing by the sea. He looks at his audience, hoping to find the girl that woke him in his deep, drunken slumber. Searching aimlessly in a sea of strangers, he whispered a short prayer for her to come.

And at the back of the crowd, he saw Catherine smiling at her.

After Matt's gig, they had a few drinks and decided to walk by the beach on their way home. It took them several minutes to build their strength to break the invisible barrier between them.

"I thought you would never come," Matt said.

"I never said I won't," Catherine answered.

"Thanks for dropping by."

"You were great."

"Thank you."

And they exchange warm smiles.

They continued to walk under the dim sky with all its glimmering stars. The waves had washed away their footprints and filled their ears with its sound as it kissed the shore. She felt such emotional tension between them as his arms unintentionally touches hers as they walk.

Finally, Matt held her hand and Catherine let go of all her anxiety. She embraced his sincerity with open arms and let herself feel appreciated even for last moments of her life. They stroll by the moonlight as the night watches.

"What are you doing here," Catherine asked Matt.

"I'm also on vacation."

"C'mon. Stop kiddin' me. You're really good at what you do. Why are you wasting your time here?"

"Why are you doin' the same?"

Catherine found herself stuck with her own question. Her question had just backfired, stinging her with anxiety. She realized that talking to Matt was like looking at herself infront of a mirror. She was like talking to herself, asking the same question, looking for the same answers. She digs deep into herself, looking for the right words to say.

Stop. Sorry. Goodbye. Three words she easily found in her mind. She asked herself: would she stop Matt from being so nice? Is she sorry that he met him? Would she say goodbye to him like what she did with the rest of her world?

And yet she feels neither of the three are correct to say at that very moment.

"Thank you, Matt. I really love being with you," Catherine found herself saying to Matt.

"That was nothing," Matt replied.

"No you don't understand. Everything that happened tonight means a lot especially for someone like me."

"You deserve to be treated that way."

"May I ask you a question," Catherine asked Matt.

"Shoot."

"If you only got one day to live, how would you spend it?"

"Is that a trick question," Matt replied with a handsome smile.

"No tricks. I just wanna hear your answer."

"That's easy. Ok, hmmm... let me see. I'm gonna spend it here at the beach, have a nice lunch, relax all afternoon and play my music all night long then end my day with a midnight stroll along the beach."

"Nice answer."

"If I'm gonna die tomorrow, Catherine, I wanna spend this day exactly the same way I spent it with you."

"..."

Out of nowhere, Catherine found herself kissing Matt with all that she got.

Even for the last time, she felt so happy and so blessed. Meeting him was not in her plans. And being treated as sincere and as unconditional as what he was doing to her was just too good to be true.

Matt was just too good to be true. Maybe he really is.

She was about to smile her heart out as one tear escaped her eyes. The truth was just too heavy and too strong for her to overcome. Fear once again creep into her. She realized that she cannot let him be part of her life. She cannot stand burdening him with her incoming death. She cannot let him pity her. She cannot be unfair to him by letting him love her with just little time left in her.

Regret burned Catherine as she played the deadly game of "If Only's."

If only she doesn't have cancer.

If only she doesn't have only less than a year to live.

If only she met Matt earlier.

If only she could be with Matt longer.

If only she could live in this moment forever.

Catherine stopped herself from her self-created delusion. She knows she's dying and she cannot be with Matt for long. Knowing that was the greatest pain of all, more painful that her dreaded disease. She pushed herself away from him and let go of the all the wonderful feeling she had at that moment.

"Why are you so nice to me? You barely know me," Catherine asked Matt.

"What's there to know? All that matters to me is that you're nice and you're fun to be with."

She was too late. Matt had already held her heart in his arms and he seems wouldn't be letting go of it that easily. But she knows she must be strong, not only for herself but also for him as well.

"Would you stop being so damn nice! I don't deserve it," Catherine screamed as her tears fall.

"What's wrong?"

She must push him away. Things are difficult already. The more he stays with her, the more things would be harder and more complicated.

"I'm sorry I even met you!"

"You alright?"

She must end everything right now. Or she would be regretting things more and blaming herself further for involving him with her own demise. She cannot stand the chance of breaking his heart with her own death.

"Please. Leave me alone. Goodbye!"

"Wait!"

Stop. Sorry. Goodbye. Three words Catherine knew she shouldn't tell Matt but she also knew she had to.

Catherine turned her back at Matt and she ran away from him. Tears started to blur her vision. She cannot let Matt knows why she's in this beach. She then remembered the reason why she went there. She knows there isn't much time to waste. She's catching her breath now. Cancer had not only eaten her physical strength but also her emotional strength as well.

She feels the cold seawater as it touches her feet. She pushes herself with all the remaining strength she had. Soon it will be all over. Moving into the sea proved tiring as the water reaches her knees. Her tears are being blown away by the evening wind. Her life flashed in front of her. Her family. Her friends. Her achievements. Her dreams. Moving in the water becomes further difficult as the water reaches her chest. Seawater is a heavy burden in her ordeal but her own tears proved to be heavier. Then she remembered Matt. From the time she stumbled upon him. The time they laugh during their lunch. The time she watched him perform and he sang to her. The time they walked in the beach and he held her hand. And the time she kissed him for the first and last time. Her breathing becomes difficult as the waves kissed her face.

"It's over," Catherine whispered as she took her last breath.

And a large wave engulfed her and her body slowly sank into the sea.

* * * * *

It was another typical summer day in the beach. Catherine wakes up from her deep sleep under the scorching sun. Unlike most people, she didn't mind the heat. She even didn't notice the sun.

"For someone who's should be dead, a little sunburn won't hurt," she smiled bitterly.

Catherine is a successful banking executive. In a young age, she had already achieved what most people only dream on pursuing. And yet, her success is bound to be short-lived.

Her tears quickly followed her smile. She should be dead. She wanted to die on her own terms, on her own means, on her own time. And yet she lives.

She's diagnosed with Stage Four Breast Cancer. She has only less than a year to live. But she has no intention of living painfully in chemotherapy and dying with a tube in her mouth.

She could have been treated by the best doctors with the best medicine her money could buy. But she chose to go to the beach instead. Her grandmother, most of her aunts and even her own mother had already succumbed to the dreaded disease. And she knows she's next and there was nothing she or her money can do about it.

For a person as successful as she is, she has no plans of letting anyone, even Matt pity her. Now that she lives, she doesn't know whether she still have any strength in her to go on. But she knows she must live, not just for herself, but for Matt as well.

Catherine had prepared herself for death. But she have never prepared herself for a second life, nor for Matt.

Somewhere in that same beach, Matt lies motionless in his deep slumber. Unlike most people, he was unaware of where he was, and he remained lying on the sand while being charred by the sun.

"For someone who won't be living anymore, a little sunburn won't hurt." his smile seemed to say.

Matt is a freelance acoustic performer. In a young age, he had given up everything what most people tried to achieve. And yet, he lives a happy, carefree life.

Now, he had finally given up the only thing he held all his life: his happy, carefree life.

He may not have any degree in college or any dreams at all, but his life is worth more that any degree or dreams anyone can attain.

He could have been successful, just like his parents and siblings. Matt came from a family of doctors. They even own one of the most respectable hospitals in the metropolis. And yet he chose to play his music in small bars in the beach instead. He had accepted that he is the weakest among his family, for he struggled so bad in his pre-med course while his parents and siblings dominated in their respective specializations in medicine.

For a person as pessimistic as he is, he had never planned of giving up his own life for anyone. But somehow, in the short time he had with Catherine, he saw in her the strength he never had. He felt that despite her courage, her burden was more than what she can take. And yet she continued on fighting, continued on living amidst the pain and hardship of her life. He greatly admired her for that. Looking at Catherine's life, he found his own, and its sole purpose. Facing death, he chose to be strong for the first time in his life. He finally found the meaning of his own life. That's why he chose to die in place of someone whom he believes deserves another day to live.

Matt never prepared himself for life or death. But he managed to live his life to the greatest through his own death.

Two different lives. One summer to remember forever.

-30-