FATE, DESTINY --- Big words synonymous to predetermination. Intangible, yet encompassing every aspect of our lives-- or do they?
When I was a kid from preschool I was always asked what I wanted to be when I grow up. The answer was oh so simple , "I want to be a doctor. I want to be like my mom and dad. I want to study in Johns Hopkins and be a medical director too (wherever that was and whatever that is) I want to help people and be a respected member of the community." It was the expected answer. People understood that never questioning the blind devotion of a son or daughter to follow in the footseps of one's parents. It was their dream and it was my destiny.
Fast forward. I figured along the way that I didn't want to be a doctor. I am a nobody. Yeah, I'm from UPD and yeah, the Top 8 position on the board exam (not medicine) wasn't really intended. I was shocked even to be there in the first place. I wasn't exactly the burn-the-midnight-oil student than I was the fatalistic rebel who rode a motor bike in college with a guitar strapped to my back I was a nobody but I was a happy nobody.
Now I'm sitting here at the dining table with my family on a weekend talking about me taking over a family business I don't want to get into. It's like preschool all over again. "Your uncle has stepped down and I am the incumbent manager-president of the company. We currently hold 71% of the stocks, that said, the family needs to have somebody in a high-level position here to make sure that our interests are protected when I retire," mom explained. "Why don't we just sell off that thing? It isn't exactly a cash cow. Or maybe you could have ______(my cousin) take over?" I said. " Your good cousin has refused because we have more at stake than they have. This business has been founded by your grandfather together with three other families at an equal number of shares, now that we have the majority, we don't want them undermining our authority and milk the business. If you've read the assets, you would understand that if we sell this we serve to lose more. We now are at 7x the price from our original investment" A doctor and business woman, my mom. How am I ever going to live up to her expectations (I guess I never will). I hear my grandfather calling his children and grandchildren, illiterates and failures because he says no one had the motivation to follow the academic strides he has undertaken (he has 7 Degrees, how the heck am I going to live up to his expectations, even more so, he calls his daughter, a doctor an illiterate) . Now they want me to get another degree related to the position they would be handing (forcing) to me in the near future. I may have moved away from one predetermined role only to fall into another. When will this cycle end? We may be the masters of our own fate but veering out of the predetemined route is a pain in the butt and the repercussions could be horrible. Sometimes I wonder if we really have a choice.
It also makes me wonder about religion too. (In a few hours I will be attending Mass) Did Judas really have a choice of not selling out Christ or was it his fate to betray the Son of God so that we may be saved? What if he was dissuaded by his conscience? Would God have picked another to take Judas' place? Did he burn in hell because it was all part of the big plan?
We have been given free will but sadly the options are few and narrow. Right now, I feel like Judas.
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posted by
shad0w0lf, 3 months ago
Will saying... the grass is always greener on the other side help?
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posted by
kibitzer, 3 months ago
I'd counter by saying, "Blood is thicker than the water needed to nourish the grass."
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posted by
letsugas, 3 months ago
and i'll counter "aanhin pa ang damo pagpatay na ang kabayo"
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posted by
pekto, 3 months ago
wow, kibz, parang pelikula pala buhay mo. :P
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posted by
Tyrobot, 3 months ago
I feel for you. This is not an advice or anything but, in my case, I plan to run far, far away. It is just not possible to fill in their shoes and I certainly do not want to live in anyone's shadow. I love my family but their expectation and apparent disappointment is killing me. I won't be back until I've done it on my own and achieved something that they could appreciate.
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posted by
kibitzer, 3 months ago
^^^ AAAaaargh must....resist...the ...urge...to ...taunt...letsugas.
Touche pare
^^ All the world's a stage....
^ good for you man and good luck.
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posted by
letsugas, 3 months ago
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posted by
albusnape, 3 months ago
hmmm... maybe ur ryt... we are all part of the big plan... no matter how hard you try... fate and destiny will ruin ur life... if they want to...
unfair... ryt?...
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posted by
dwd, 3 months ago
he has 7 Degrees, how the heck am I going to live up to his expectations, even more so, he calls his daughter, a doctor an illiterate
well, count me among the illiterates here where people can't "ispel."
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posted by
lakerfan, 3 months ago
kibz, you can be one of sandman's character in his stories. punta ka na lang boracay then work as a waiter or a musician. tapos paibigin mo mga turista or just one. then syempre dahil ordinaryong tao ka lang, tatapak-tapakan ka na nung kapamilya nung syuta mo. tapos habang tinatapak-tapakan ka ng kapamilya nung syuta mo, enters your mom.
"son, what is the problem? why did you runaway?" sez your momma. and then yung kasama niyang bodyguard, sinapak-sapak , sinipa-sipa. sabay takbo nung syuta mo...habol ka naman...and there goes your MMK version of kibz life. :P
seriously, follow where your heart is. pero kunin mo muna mana mo. hahaha. be practical, dude.
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posted by
everyonenose, 3 months ago
aahhh.. the great debate between Existentialism vs. Essentialism.. you sounded just like my prof in philo with that Judas thing.. hehe..
the best thing you can probably do right now is to be "emo" about the whole thing because basically, no one knows what is exactly written in your plot.. don't think about it, just let it find its way to you.. when the time comes when it needs you to choose, then choose. period. just hold onto your decision and be sure to be practical(^up) and smoke that grass(^way up). haha!
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posted by
kibitzer, 3 months ago
^Pu#$%^*#$%! natawa ako dun ah.
>Ibigin kaya ako ng isang diyosang turista? Different league na mga iyan. Kumbaga sa isda, GG lang ako tapos karibal mo Blue Marlin.
>Tsk, maliit lang cash prize sa MMK
>Mahirap kunin ang mana kung di mo sundin ang mga habilin ng mga powers-that-be
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posted by
darthjesus, 3 months ago
noy kibz, buy 7 more recto diplomas so you'll have 8 degrees
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posted by
kibitzer, 3 months ago
^magkano ba dun? expert ka ata ah.
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posted by
darthjesus, 3 months ago
^ i just heard stories pero matindi isang sira ulo rito, dahil di sya makapasa ng theories sa driving license nya, nagpagawa syang diploma sa recto Masters in Vehicle Expertise from La Salle. nyahahahaha andun sa bahay nila naka-display. pede palang magimbento ng degree sa recto?
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posted by
kibitzer, 3 months ago
kopyahin lang naman nila yung font at seal. Yung papel ng certificate common naman yun eh so kahit anong paper plant siguro. Forgery ang pirma syempre. btw - 2 degrees na so 5 na lang kulang ko. LOL
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posted by
mesai, 3 months ago
di ka naman siguro ko-kontrahin ng family mo coz you're "the chosen one" unlike ng sitch ko. we have to close the business kase hina-harass kame ng pamilya kaya napilitan ako bumalik dito and sa pagiging bum. kaya back to zero na net worth ko, unlike you, takbuhan mo man mana mo, you'll still have pennies worth, pun intended. lol! eto, seryoso, just follow your heart. if you just wanna be one with the farmers and not the corporate officers, tell them. sure it'll break their heart, but it's your happiness at stake. how can you be a successful CEO if you're only breathing but not living?
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