There was once a man who pointed out an oxymoron hiding behind one of Leslie Feist's popular songs:
Sweet heart, bitter heart
Now I can't tell you apart
... the conflicting points being the sad lyrics sung in a catchy, happy tune.
You'd never hear her cry for help, but Feist poured out her heart and soul on those two lines to let you know that she is on the verge of giving up her search for love and happiness. That is, if she hasn't already succumbed to her romantic failure.
The rest of the song follows suit. The happy mention of numbers 1, 2, 3, 4 was a diversionary tactic to keep you from noticing how incredibly sad and Dystopian our songwriter's frame of mind is.
But Leslie Feist couldn't fool this man.
He is a sad, old man who gave up on love more than five years ago. It wasn't because he didn't live a life well-loved, in fact he's had more romantic stories up his sleeve than you care to imagine coming out of a fat, wrinkled man who stopped looking for shirts bearing colors other than black and brown; shirts, tastelessly cheap, hanging on every tastelessly cheap shirt corner of every tastelessly cheap shirt neighborhood. He wakes up in the morning to a job he calls his own, reading beautiful poetry to little kids, sure enough that every day he spends educating them is a day spent shaping up the generation of his nation's greats. He loves the idea of making a mark in this world through the happy faces of kids in his dead end school in the middle of his dead end town.
At night, he pours a glass of wine and sings to Feist.
Money can't buy you back the love that you had then...
He wants to think the next beautiful woman who comes along will ultimately spend with him the time of their lives. But, in reality, when they finally meet, they will spend no more than two peachy weeks getting to know each other, filled with excitement that quickly goes on a painful downward spiral, something that comes as no surprise to him. He knows that no relationship will ever surpass the three blissful years he'd spent chasing the beautiful long-haired teacher he met in his young years teaching foreign kids on a beautiful foreign island somewhere in the warm foreign tropics. This woman, long out of his life, still owns a diamond ring laid on her finger by his loving hands. But she is now out and about with another man, someone who's never heard of Leslie Feist, never even read a single piece of children's literature in his life, who's preferably a schmuck who will never treat this woman right after they got married, but who's lucky enough to win this woman's heart. Our Feist-crazed hero should have been the one for her, loving her, making her happy, but alas, circumstances were never too kind. And now he's stuck with nothing but happy kids' faces and two-week flings and cheap shirts and long-gone memories of her.
One more glass of wine, and another round of singing to the song. He conjures up the vision of a faceless woman with a body so cunningly inviting. He doesn't want to know her, doesn't really intend to, but one thing he does want is to have meaningless sex with her everyday for the rest of his life. He's grown tired of dead relationships, and two-week romances with beautiful women that never led anywhere, and now all he wants is a faceless slave to embody the ultimate answer to his sleepless, sexless nights.
Tomorrow morning, he will wake up to a great deal of pain. But it'll be just another morning, and he is really no stranger to the pain. So tonight, he takes more sips of fine wine, goes on a little dozy trip, and soon enough, this sexual fantasy of his will come to life.
Cue 1 2 3 4, on repeat.
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posted by
haringkopas, 4 months ago
privet CM.
faultlessly sexless chap.
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posted by
lakerfan, 4 months ago
wtf™, was that a song i've just scan?
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posted by
darthjesus, 4 months ago
the chap that couldn't move on? limit yourself to hand-carried baggage dude. lol
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posted by
spidamang, 4 months ago
He conjures up the vision of a faceless woman with a body so cunningly inviting. He doesn't want to know her, doesn't really intend to, but one thing he does want is to have meaningless sex with her everyday for the rest of his life.
reminds me of scary movie 2. ;)
downloaded some of feist's songs, still can't decide what to make of them though. :)
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posted by
lakerfan, 4 months ago
wtf™, was that a song i've just scanned?
*typos....:P
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posted by
pukung, 4 months ago
weird guy...who's this man anyway? maybe we could tell him to go out his room and explore...
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posted by
crazymerrick, 4 months ago
haringkopas: Well hello there, kopas. Please don't make me google translations. Thanks.
lakerfan: What song?
darth: Apparently he also carries a lot in the belly.
spidy: My love for Feist's music is hit and miss. So, you're not alone.
pukung: He's weird because he's a mix of a few laughable men I've met in the past. Fortunately I haven't met a complete package of the whole mongrel like the one we have here. Frankly I don't ever want to meet one.
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posted by
Areflexia, 4 months ago
book of revelations, less angels and more demons and happier soundtrack.
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posted by
Areflexia, 4 months ago
i bet once he reads this he'd be sipping wine and singing Let it Die. :D
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posted by
crazymerrick, 4 months ago
^Lol, funny. I'm guessing he's too bland a character to dig more Feist songs, but singing Let it Die works. Add some Hemingway-esque contemplations of shortcutting to the afterlife, for added dramatic effect.
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posted by
bebang, 4 months ago
sings: What can I do to make you feel secure?
Remove all your doubts
so that you'll know for sure that you're
the apple of my eyes girl fulfllments o fmy dreams
time.....
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posted by
crazymerrick, 4 months ago
Naks si Bebang nahipan ng falsetto ko. Naman eeeh.
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posted by
payakdong, 2 months ago
for the artist in you.
hunt for the album: chelsea girls by nico
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posted by
crazymerrick, 2 months ago
And for the artist in you, hunt for I'm Not There the movie and the soundtrack album. Current stuff works, too.
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posted by
payakdong, 2 months ago
i checked out the album. well........ok lang, interesting yung mga artist. pero i'm not really into soundtracks. but the tom verlaine track i like it reminds me of when he is with television. makes me want to listen to the Marquee Moon album again. by the way... are you a dylan fan?...you dig dylan if do i don't know if you saw it already> No Direction Home by Martin Scorsese?. yung film pala, maganda, eksperimental. cate is awesome as dylan, wow! anyway yun lang...tnx
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posted by
crazymerrick, 2 months ago
Wow, I'm not checking out everything because you strike me as a load of nosebleed. A lot. But since Scorsese is <3>
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posted by
crazymerrick, 2 months ago
Wow, I'm not checking out everything because you strike me as a load of nosebleed. A lot. But since Scorsese is LOVE, ok, I'll check out that experimental No Direction Home. Happy now?
[stupid auto formatting]
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posted by
SANDMAN, 2 months ago
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posted by
payakdong, 2 months ago
5 more days, you don't have a clue do you?
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posted by
Areflexia, 2 months ago
^seeing a shrink in five days?
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